Why Dating Apps Got It Wrong and Other Problems With the World

acts-3I have never really been keen on dating apps because aside from it being a cheesy way to meet someone, I’ve always thought the compatibility questions they ask are so silly. I don’t really care too much if my significant other likes Dominos pizza as much as I do. You can’t build a relationship on something like that.

There are important things and then there are those less important things that make us uniquely who we are. It’s a person’s core, their soul, that driving force that moves them through each day and year that separates them from the rest.

I am a practicing Christian and while I know that some people don’t really understand the depth of this statement, it is the most important aspect of my life. It is the ground on which the rest of my life is structured. So you see, it doesn’t really matter if my future husband and I are both night owls, or like gritty suspense movies, or shop at the same grocery store. These things are nice to have in common with the one you love and spend your time with, but if we cannot agree on the driving principle of all of life, we likely won’t understand much else about each other.

It was this thought that brought me to the current one. In light of the racial tension and historical narrative that America has seen, there has been so much division. Even now, in a time, when seemingly we’ve crossed racial barriers politically, there is much unrest and frustration about the inequalities that still pervade thoughts and deeds. Blacks have been shot and killed unjustly with no repercussions from the law and people are angry. While Black Lives Matter may have begun as a positive call to action, it has spun out of control and everyone is being forced to choose a side. Either you’re with Black Lives Matter or you’re with “them.”

Wait what?

Let me be clear. Black lives do very much matter and I’m saddened to see how our nation’s move away from God has spiraled into so many unnecessary ills and problems, all of which would be answered in God’s very simple and clear commandment “Love thy neighbor as thyself.”

But there is another issue at hand. Are any of us really looking for reconciliation or do we only want justification to remain divided? It’s this “you did that, so now I’m doing this mentality.” In the words of Dr. King. “An eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind.” Only forgiveness can bring healing. It is the starting point. And if no one is courageous enough to start, then nothing ever gets solved. Starting takes courage, it involves risk, and it requires faith. Instead it’s a “You did that… but I don’t want to continue hurting each other so let’s figure out a way that we both win” mentality.

Last year, my life took a turn when God…asked me nicely first, and then told me, and then MADE me leave a sinful and unfruitful situation and go at life alone. I was afraid but God was faithful and in such a short time he has surrounded me with people who love God and are willing to walk closely with me on my journey towards him. Look how lovely God is. He really meant it when he said he would never leave or forsake me.

But here’s the whole reason I’m writing this… the people I have found to walk with don’t all look like me. I don’t even know what kind of pizza they like or where they grocery shop or whether they do the dishes right after cooking or leave them for the next morning. I do know they love God tremendously and build their homes on rock. All other details can be worked out.