Why Dating Apps Got It Wrong and Other Problems With the World

I have nev­er real­ly been keen on dat­ing apps because aside from it being a cheesy way to meet some­one, I’ve always thought the com­pat­i­bil­i­ty ques­tions they ask are so sil­ly. I don’t real­ly care too much if my sig­nif­i­cant oth­er likes Domi­nos piz­za as much as I do. You can’t build a rela­tion­ship on some­thing like that.

There are impor­tant things and then there are those less impor­tant things that make us unique­ly who we are. It’s a person’s core, their soul, that dri­ving force that moves them through each day and year that sep­a­rates them from the rest.

I am a prac­tic­ing Chris­t­ian and while I know that some peo­ple don’t real­ly under­stand the depth of this state­ment, it is the most impor­tant aspect of my life. It is the ground on which the rest of my life is struc­tured. So you see, it doesn’t real­ly mat­ter if my future hus­band and I are both night owls, or like grit­ty sus­pense movies, or shop at the same gro­cery store. These things are nice to have in com­mon with the one you love and spend your time with, but if we can­not agree on the dri­ving prin­ci­ple of all of life, we like­ly won’t under­stand much else about each other.

It was this thought that brought me to the cur­rent one. In light of the racial ten­sion and his­tor­i­cal nar­ra­tive that Amer­i­ca has seen, there has been so much divi­sion. Even now, in a time, when seem­ing­ly we’ve crossed racial bar­ri­ers polit­i­cal­ly, there is much unrest and frus­tra­tion about the inequal­i­ties that still per­vade thoughts and deeds. Blacks have been shot and killed unjust­ly with no reper­cus­sions from the law and peo­ple are angry. While Black Lives Mat­ter may have begun as a pos­i­tive call to action, it has spun out of con­trol and every­one is being forced to choose a side. Either you’re with Black Lives Mat­ter or you’re with “them.”

Wait what?

Let me be clear. Black lives do very much mat­ter and I’m sad­dened to see how our nation’s move away from God has spi­raled into so many unnec­es­sary ills and prob­lems, all of which would be answered in God’s very sim­ple and clear com­mand­ment “Love thy neigh­bor as thyself.”

But there is anoth­er issue at hand. Are any of us real­ly look­ing for rec­on­cil­i­a­tion or do we only want jus­ti­fi­ca­tion to remain divid­ed? It’s this “you did that, so now I’m doing this men­tal­i­ty.” In the words of Dr. King. “An eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind.” Only for­give­ness can bring heal­ing. It is the start­ing point. And if no one is coura­geous enough to start, then noth­ing ever gets solved. Start­ing takes courage, it involves risk, and it requires faith. Instead it’s a “You did that… but I don’t want to con­tin­ue hurt­ing each oth­er so let’s fig­ure out a way that we both win” mentality.

Last year, my life took a turn when God…asked me nice­ly first, and then told me, and then MADE me leave a sin­ful and unfruit­ful sit­u­a­tion and go at life alone. I was afraid but God was faith­ful and in such a short time he has sur­round­ed me with peo­ple who love God and are will­ing to walk close­ly with me on my jour­ney towards him. Look how love­ly God is. He real­ly meant it when he said he would nev­er leave or for­sake me.

But here’s the whole rea­son I’m writ­ing this… the peo­ple I have found to walk with don’t all look like me. I don’t even know what kind of piz­za they like or where they gro­cery shop or whether they do the dish­es right after cook­ing or leave them for the next morn­ing. I do know they love God tremen­dous­ly and build their homes on rock. All oth­er details can be worked out.